I'm Proud to Announce...

It’s a common trend in the midst of big changes and moments in our lives to update our friends via Facebook about what we’re up to - where we're moving, what our new position is, etc. Of course there is nothing wrong with this. I’ve done it many of times and will in the future. But there’s more I want to share with you than just a brief post-collegiate career update. So if you’re one of the few that actually cared enough to click on this link and read this post, I’m sure I would consider you one of my good friends, part of my family, or just a curious, potential friend. So before I get to the good news/I'm proud to announce moment, I have a story..

I was ten years old.  I had seen very little of what the world had to offer.  Yet I knew that I would be hard pressed to match the bright eyed sense of wonder & stomach in my throat feeling I was experiencing while winding through the Rockies on I-70.

It was the first of many ski trips to Colorado for me and my family.  We were accompanying some family friends who were seasoned vets on the slopes.  They hooked us up with the mountain cabin, hot tub patio and everything.  I was in heaven. I didn’t know this way of life even existed. The humbling massiveness of the mountains covered in thick trees and capped with powder literally took my breath away and still does to this day. Just like everything else in life, only first hand experience will do it justice.

Everyone was planning on skiing…except me. I was about to be buck the trend and be the only snowboarder out of 10+ people. Snowboarding was spiking in popularity during this time in the early 2000’s. I had been a dedicated (obsessed) viewer of the winter and summer X Games and had plenty of experience whizzing down the local Skyview sledding hill with my Wal-Mart 3000 equipped with the highest quality dual strap slide-in bindings.  I even built a drop-in runway with a ramp in our yard every winter so I could practice everyday after school. But this was the big time. I was not being persuaded from snowboarding by my Mom, who was slightly concerned about her overconfident and anxious son.

My little brother Jordan catching a whole 10 inches of air off of our state-of-the-art drop-in runway ramp

The anticipation was like Christmas Eve for a Santa crazed child x 1000.  Not only was I unable to sleep, I could barely close my eyes.  Tossing and turning all night, I finally sprung out of bed at 5:30 AM and started getting my gear on.  After eating some cereal and sweating profusely for a couple hours, everyone slowly started to wake up. I was begging them to hurry up so we could be first in line at the lift (lifts open at 9:00 AM). They laughed at how ridiculously ecstatic I was about the whole thing.

We’re in line to get on the lift… my mom, dad, and sister get on a chair together.  I am instantly separated from my group.  No worries, I’ll just hop on the next one coming up… I’m by myself. My mom is looking back nervously. She is yelling at me but I can’t hear what she’s saying. I’m fine though, no need to worry, Mom. Until we start to go over some pretty steep, high sections and the lift periodically stops and swings due to newbies trying to get off at the end of the lift and falling. I didn’t know there was a safety bar to pull down so I’m hanging on for dear life. Finally I get to the summit, just hoping I don’t make a fool of myself trying to get off. I forgot to mention I also didn’t know snowboarders are supposed to keep their back foot unstrapped to maneuver on and off the lifts. This is what I get for being the only snowboarder in the group.  I faceplant and they have to stop the lift like they did for all the other first-timers and my family is laughing their ass off while I peel myself off the ground. I shake it off. I’m ready to show em what I’m made of now.

I ended up doing alright. I didn’t fall often, but when I did, I fell hard. By the end of the day I was keeping up with the best of them. I don’t remember feeling that intensity of joy for such a sustained amount of time. Like most first time experiences, nothing will ever match the rush of those first few sessions carving down the mountain.  Eventually I got the courage to try out the terrain park and finally caught some real air hang time which quite literally felt like achieving flight. It honestly seemed like I was never going to come down. I had opened up a whole new realm to the experience.

For those of you wondering... yes those are both actually me but I have been questioned/doubted numerous times. Props to the camera man.  It's not near as high or impressive as it looks.

We would continue to go on ski trips over the years and my dream of living in Colorado only continued to grow and fester in my head.  I refused to accept any reality other than that of being surrounded by mountains and trees everyday.  Once a year wasn’t good enough.  Twice or three times a year wasn’t either.  I was too in love to not make it part of my everyday life. The peace, the serenity, the beauty. Sooo cliche, but like most cliches, so true.

My Colorado virginity story is significant to me because it sparked something that I cannot and will not be able to put out. After all these years I have finally seen the aforementioned dream come to fruition and will soon become reality. I will be leaving my beloved home state of Nebraska and call Colorado home come June. For me to be able to write those words means more than you know. I was prepared to move to Colorado on a shoe string budget working at a fucking gas station if I had to. It’s something so much more than just snowboarding or mountain biking, hiking, jeeping or any of that. While those are most definitely huge factors, it’s the diverse people, active culture, progressive society, nature…. the concerts, restaurants, opportunities, venues, trails, the good vibes I feel from just being there. It's hard to explain but I literally feel more at ease and in sync during my time spent in Colorado.

Now I’m not saying Colorado is the only place for me. There are mountains and trees in other places and much more to see in this world, but not this close to home. I will always call Nebraska my home.  It has served me well in my developing years and made me chase my dreams with even more intensity I think this way. After just graduating from UNK with a bachelor’s degree in Construction Management, I will be working for Kiewit Building Group as a Construction Engineer in Colorado Springs for the next stretch of my life and then who knows?..  But for now I will be calling the Centennial state my newest second home.

Hanging Lake - Glenwood Canyon, CO

Winter Park, CO

Denver, CO

Trestle Bike Park - Winter Park, CO

Closing thoughts to an unforgettable college experience

I haven't yet fully processed the fact that my time here as a UNK student athlete has come to a close. I finished my last final on Wednesday and immediately left to Chicago to hopefully run a last chance national qualifying time in the steeplechase again this year. I knew I would be missing my own graduation ceremony in order to do this. While my fellow graduates were to be walking across the stage to receive that "expensive piece of paper" I would be going on a shakeloose run to prepare for my race later that night.

The thought of missing commencement to race again in a Loper jersey was an extremely simple and easy decision. I couldn't even imagine foregoing the opportunity to toe the line one more time to punch a ticket to the big dance. Turns out I came up short this time. However...I can say without a doubt that I have no regrets, reservations, or second thoughts on any decisions I have made throughout my collegiate career. I am where I am because of each one of my complex choices and various paths I have ventured down.

It's not the trips to nationals, medals, trophies, GPA, or diploma that I will cling to following this college experience. What I WILL hold close to my heart are the relationships I have built with a number of people that is far too many to be individually recognized. A particularly fond memory/feeling I will always hold dearly is that of the relationship I have with my UNK XC/Track team and our coach. Coach Bonsall has sent our team this video a few times... reminding us of what's important, namely, the journey of getting better, together. I will always get goosebumps thinking about this while never forgetting the lessons I have learned through the countless hours of studying, practicing, traveling, racing, winning, losing, and bonding with you people. You know who you are.

Much love.

Hello again, friends

When I started this blog on a whim halfway through my sophomore year in college I had no expectations.  My first post I literally included the link and a caption saying “I started a blog…. read it.  Or don’t."  I didn’t care what people thought about it.  I did it because I felt inspired from a couple of courses I was taking in philosophy and political science among various other enlightening experiences that had sparked something in me.  I was curious as to how these thoughts would translate into words and had a lot of fun doing it.  I received a lot of positive responses and loved writing, but for some reason I just stopped. Whether it was because of a growing fear of judgement, my busy schedule, or probably a combination of the two. I started thinking too much about writing something that people would “like.”  I mean actually like and Facebook like.  This was the opposite of what I wanted to achieve with my writing, so I simply stopped.

I feel like I finally have the motivation again mainly thanks to a major transition happening in my life. There’s a few times in life when reflection seems inevitable and graduating college definitely seems like one of them.  So I started writing again.  I started two notebooks.  One is my journal, and the other is filled with posts to publish on this blog.  The truth is, some thoughts are simply too personal/intimate, which are things that most people don’t want/need/deserve to know.

I find it surprisingly relaxing and therapeutic to just to sit down after a meaningful experience and walk through it, revisiting pivotal moments to promote clarity.  It's an emotional release, a thought provoker, an organizer.  I want to fully process and solidify valuable lessons while feeling gratitude by writing about them...whether I share them with the world or not.


"Writing is perhaps the greatest of human inventions, binding together people, citizens of distant epochs, who never knew one another.  Books break the shackles of time, proof that humans can work magic."

-Carl Sagan

"My philosophy is: It's none of my business what people say of me and think of me. I am what I am and I do what I do. I expect nothing and accept everything. And it makes life so much easier."

-Sir Anthony Hopkins.


I have a few pieces I’ve been working on and will post them over the next couple of weeks!

I got nothing but love for y’all.

Cheers

APIW1000W

A picture is worth a thousand words. I come across all sorts of thought provoking, interesting, inspiring, funny and cool pictures. I am going to start posting them on a regular basis with the title APIW1000W. Partially to share them with you and partially so I can have an album of awesome pictures. I'm going to warn you. They will be extremely random. These one's happen to be pictures of nature.

Enjoy

Ok this one is not of nature, but I told you they are going to be random

Today's Motivation

The Magic of Running

Why do you run?

Because you're wondering if your grandchildren will too. Because its raining. Because you can, and others can't. Because its faster than walking. Because that shaky leg feeling is all about nervous energy. Because you can't fly. Because you can fly. Because your personal best is just that. Your's. Because the pain of a blister is nothing compared to the pain of stopping. Because you like the resistance the wind gives you. Because you like the resistance you give the wind. Just because.

Now most of you that know me, know that running is my "thing" but I'm not sure everyone knows exactly why. Anyone who runs competitively will agree that running just has something about it that is like nothing else. The above paragraph is the closest I can get to describing it. That something is what has kept me in the sport for the past 8 years and will continue to do so, but for me, and I'm assuming most runners, did not begin running for this reason. It seems that most of us just accidentally stumbled into it. Running isn't popular, plain and simple. Boys grow up idolizing Brett Favre and Michael Jordan. We play backyard football and basketball during recess hoping to, one day, be an all star like the guys on TV. No one grows up saying, "I want to be a long distance runner!" You don't get to "play" running like you do football and basketball. It's not something kids go outside and do when they want to have fun with their friends. Running is punishment when you fumble, drop a pass, or miss your free throws. Who in their right mind would want to run, let alone, enjoy it as a sport? Well to be honest, runners are weird. No, we aren't actually weird, we are just different than the majority, so if you want to call that weird, then I guess that's fair. But this is my story as to how and why I came to be a runner.

As a kid, I was never overly interested in traditional sports, which also meant that I wasn't very good at them either. Not that it was my parent's fault by any means. They put me in YMCA soccer and baseball, but I never took a strong interest in them. I would choose to play outfield in baseball so that I could sit and pick dandelions and catch bugs. Turns out I did end up having a "Top 10 Play" in my baseball career though. I was standing out in left field, doing my usual, picking the grass, but for some reason I had my glove turned up. Little did I know, a pop fly was headed right to me and everyone started screaming my name. Before I could look up, the ball landed straight into my mitt to get the last out of the inning and I was the hero. I can't say I did anything special in soccer though. My favorite part of soccer were halftime oranges and Kool Aid Bursts. (ok, honestly, this was everyone's favorite part) So you can see that I was never the popular, athletic kid in grade school, but that didn't bother me. . .until junior high.

As a 7th grader we were given the option to play 2 sports in the fall so that we could test out the waters of both football and cross country. Now I had never played contact football in my life up until this point, but I still wanted to try it, knowing my Dad was an avid football fan and I wanted to make him proud. As you may have guessed, not many people wanted to try cross country, but my sister, a junior at the time, was the number one runner for our high school cross country team and had been very successful, being a multiple time state qualifier. (She also went on to run for Wayne State College) So, I decided to give it a try, thinking maybe the family genes would be in my favor and I could be a half way decent runner. Surprisingly, football did not start out too well. I did not understand play calling, I had no hands, and I was a tiny little runt.

As you can see here.  At least Jordan's impressed!

I remember coming home from practice one day, it was a Wednesday. (Whenever you refer to back in the day it's always a Wednesday. Dane Cook joke.)  I was talking to my Mom about how I didn't know if I could do football anymore but I didn't want to disappoint my Dad and be a cross country runner. My Mom, being the amazing woman she is, told me that it did not matter what sport I played, my Dad would be proud of me whatever I did, as long as I gave it my best. That was all I needed to hear.

Once I shifted my focus to cross country, I felt a huge weight lifted off of my shoulders. I definitely wasn't anything great my 7th grade year, but I made friends and had fun. . . What more can you ask for? My cross country coach told us from day one that running is not to be seen as punishment. It has been used this way in sports for years which has turned people away from running. He told us how humans are born to run. Did you know humans can outrun almost every animal on the planet? Before McDonald's, we got our food by running down animals for hours until they were so tired that they fell over from exhaustion.

Running is the purest sport in the world. It was the first sport ever invented. There's no fouls, timeouts, or bad calls. It's just you with your spikes tied tight, proudly wearing your team's name across your chest toeing the line with hundreds of other individuals who have also sacrificed the late nights out with friends, junk food, and everything else it takes to be a good distance runner. . just trying to cross that finish line before you. My first cross country race in junior high I got 11th, one place out of medaling. I wanted to get better. I wanted that medal. So I chased that first medal like it was the the Olympic gold, and once I got a taste of it, I was hooked.

I have always loved getting medals and new personal bests, but the absolute best part about running, for me, has been the awesome friends I've made. Going to practice each and every day, pounding out thousands of miles in the excruciating humid Nebraska heat, powering through that last mile repeat when my legs are ready to collapse, and taking 45 degree ice baths after practice, all right along side my teammates, has formed the strongest sense of camaraderie I have ever felt. After going through these things together, you are no longer just teammates or friends, you are brothers. When a team can reach this level of togetherness, they can achieve amazing things. My high school team ended up winning 4 straight state cross country championships throughout my high school career. We were good because we cared about each other. We poured our heart and soul into that team and that meant so much more than the trophies or medals we had won.

Now I love playing sports of all kinds: basketball, tennis, soccer, football, hockey.  In fact, I talk about football and basketball with my friends much more than I do about running. At cross country practice, me and my teammates will frequently talk about Husker football, (Which is of most importance here in Nebraska) NFL, NBA, NHL, and just about every sport out there. I got to thinking, "I wonder if the Husker football players are warming up for practice discussing last weekend's big cross country race?" Probably not. DEFINITELY not. The truth is, no one really cares about long distance running. . .Except us. It's not a glorified sport filled with media coverage and praise. . . and you know what? I wouldn't have it any other way. Isn't that how it's supposed to be? Competing in the sport purely for its own sake. . . not for the fans, or the fame, or the money. We get laughed at for wearing short shorts and being skinny. I'll admit it, I kind of throw like a girl, but dammit, I'll run with the best of them until my legs give out, and that is something I am extremely proud of. I cannot think of a single better way to show what a man is made of than running 10,000 meters as fast as you possibly can. I went from doubting my ability to finish a 400m race for track and field day in 5th grade to running 12-14 mile long runs every Saturday morning. I am on a nationally rated cross country and track team with hopes of eventually qualifying for the NCAA Division II Championships. I'm proud of what me and my teammates do even if no one else understands it. What I'm trying to say is, find something you're passionate about and run with it. (Literally in my case) Don't mind what other people say or think about it because its yours. Whatever you do though, strive to be your absolute best, otherwise it is not worth doing.

Here is a quote and a video that further explain what running is to me and so many others.



"Running to him was real, the way he did it, the realist thing he knew. It was all joy and woe, hard as a diamond; it made him weary beyond comprehension. But it also made him free." 

from the book "Once A Runner"

A New Perspective

Greetings from Kearney, NE

My small, humble college town that I share with 6,325 other students.  All of us aimlessly searching, hoping to find a career that will bring us to the number one goal in life:  Happiness.  I'm sure there's a number of people my age who know exactly what company they want to work for, where they want to live, and maybe even who they're going to marry and how many kids they want. . . too far? Ya probably.  Then there are those that just want to have fun while they can before being thrust into the real world; bathing their brains in alcohol, having no idea what day of the week it is, let alone what career to invest their entire lives into.  I believe I'm somewhere in between these two polar opposites.  Wandering on and off the straight and narrow path, trying to experience and learn as much as possible so that I can decide for myself, "What makes me the most happy?"

Earlier this year I was stuck in a rut.  I felt discontent, lost, and unsure.  I was running low on ideas and inspiration. So I decided to, of all things, enroll in not one, but two Philosophy classes. Best decision of my life.  The past few months I have been reading, writing, and thinking more than I ever have in my life.  Talking to my professors and reading books like "The Republic of Plato" and "Aristotle's Nicomachean Ethics" have given me more insight and wisdom than I ever could have imagined.  Philosophy is unlike any other class you will ever take.  Almost all traditional classes, such as math, science, english, etc., provide you with knowledge, or memorized facts . . but they do not give you wisdom. The difference is you can have all the knowledge in the world and still be a complete fool. Take a Philosophy class and I promise you will gain years of wisdom which in turn gives you the ability to use your knowledge to the highest degree.  Your life will never be the same . . . in a good way!

Have you ever had a class where you thought to yourself, "I have not learned a single useful piece of information this entire year."  Yet you go to that class day in and day out, jumping through the hoops just to get a damn degree, then sit in a cubicle and work for the man while your wife and kids have to listen to you complain about how much you hate your job. Society doesn't want you to think about that. Shut up and do your job, you're not paid to think about that. Now I sound like an obnoxious "fight the system" type of guy. . I digress. I may not have it all figured out, but one thing I am proud of is that I am always thinking. I will not settle for a normal, boring, mediocre life like I just described. I will find a career where I love going to work in the morning and have a significant purpose by having a positive effect on people's lives daily. I just don't know exactly what it is yet. I will not contribute to the tangled mess of a game that people play in life where the winners are decided based on who can acquire the most shit before they die (i.e. material possessions). This is what we're surrounded with. A bunch of selfish adults hoarding their toys in order to have bragging rights over their peers. It's sad but many times true. I want meaning, purpose, truth.  I want justice and virtue.  Very rare, but beautiful things in our world.

I have so many dreams and adventures I want to experience. But some of the best memories in life are the ones that are unplanned and out of the ordinary, and if there's one thing I want from my life, it is to be far from the ordinary. I want random adventures, crazy stories, heroic moments.  But can these things be planned?  Absolutely not.  Have you ever noticed that you laugh the hardest at the worst possible times or in the wrong places? It's all about the moment! "You must live in the present, launch yourself on every wave, find your eternity in each moment." -Henry David Thoreau.

Here I am, a seemingly average, normal skinny kid smack dab in the middle of the United States; a place some might think of as a state with no paved roads or electricity. I'm young, I don't have all the answers, (or very many at all for that matter but that won't stop me) but I do have passion and ZEST. Yes, zest. And that, I believe, is half the battle. With this blog, I am just jotting down whatever comes to mind as a means to:  1)  Document my life so that I follow through with my goals and dreams, as well as observe the development of my thoughts and actions throughout my lifetime.  2)  Vent through writing.  3)  Hopefully inspire or impact someone in a positive way whether that be by following their own dreams or having a change of heart about an important issue that I bring up.  I'm here to live, learn, and experience just as we all have been set on this earth to do.  I hope the wisdom I gain over the years can be translated well enough to this blog so that my children, my children's children, and anyone else who may encounter it, can gain something, anything positive to take away from it and pour it back into the world.  Comments, questions, or thoughts are more than welcome. It's fun writing this stuff and even more fun talking about it with people. So jump in!


Make today and everyday count for something meaningful to you.